“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (nlt) Those words became very real to me almost two decades ago when an enemy entered the camp.
For years I imagined the enemy displaying himself in the life of a person overtaken by hatred, anger, cursing and an outward display of vile behavior. However, this was not the way the enemy entered.
Clothed with charm, disguised in beauty she stepped into our lives. With words of affirmation carefully chosen she began to orchestrate the circumstances to her favor at all cost. People were merely pawns as in a chess game. Oh, she played the game so well!
Division came into the camp as she stood innocently like a shinning star. Many were awe struck by her charm. Many were fearful of her cunning skill as a master manipulator.
Disguised as a genuine and caring person, she was very aware of who was able to discern her true character. Behind closed doors, she let the wall of deceit down and openly exposed the ugliness. Once outside the doors she once again, clothed herself in the garments of charm and deceit.
Relationships were broken, lives were impacted, and joy was taken. I had never been so aware of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”. Able to escape without loosing blood of my own, I moved on in life with a lesson that I hoped to never repeat.
This past year, an enemy once again came into the camp. This one was very similar in character but did not profess to know the Lord as Savior. Whew! That was actually a relief.
As she entered our camp with the same charm and beauty as I had observed years earlier, my discernment began to warn me. As smoothly as she entered she began to slide into place and position herself in order to start the game of chess.
With words that spoke contrary to what my discernment told me her plans were, she inched her way in one step at a time. Without surprise I watched it all play out the way my discernment had warned me it would. Within a few months things began to change.
Once again, through the manipulation of one person, division came into the camp. Relationships were broken, lives were impacted and joy was taken.
As I have had time to reflect on both of these situations and recognize the enemy’s hand working through a person, I consider myself fortunate that I was able to escape without great personal scathing in both circumstances. Although I realize that I was more fortunate than others.
With that said, I have learned a few valuable lessons from these experiences.
First and foremost I have realized the need to be prepared at all times. “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (nlt) I cannot let my guard down. The Lord has already won the final battle but every day the enemy is looking for opportunities to take away my joy, to destroy relationships and destroy the life I have been given.
Second I have become ever aware that the audience of whom I serve is the Lord Jesus. “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ”. (nasb)
When my life is pleasing to Him then I will make decisions in my life that I will protect me from living a life of deceit to others. I have realized more than ever how much I desire to be a person of genuine character, pleasing to the Lord. I never want to give the enemy permission to use my life to destroy others.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You
Although I grew up in a very loving and protective home, as I got older I realized that I had my own thoughts and ideas. I wanted to be independent and step out from the protection of my mom and dad. I wanted to be independent from God too and make my own choices. Yet I wanted the assurance that my parents and God were waiting if I needed them.
The Lord could have created each of us without freewill but in His wisdom He chose to give us the freedom to choose how we will live our lives.
Just as I challenged my parents, our daughter Christina challenged her dad and me also. I remember she once told me, “Mom, I know you love me and don’t want me to get hurt but I have to learn my own way”. That broke my heart because I knew she did not fully understand the pain she would face in making wrong decisions.
As parents we want to shield and protect our children from harm yet at the same time we want them to grow up and learn to live fruitful and independent lives.
Today, as a young mother, Christina has a little boy of her own who is living up to the reputation of a true two year old. He has begun to realize that he is an independent soul and has the ability to make his own decisions. He teeters between the two most common words of a two year old, “Mommy” and “No”. In one moment he is aware of his need for his “Mommy” and in the next he is trying out his independent nature with his newfound love of the word, “No”.
We would all like to think that we have reached a place of maturity where we only make wise decisions. But just like my two-year-old grandson, we try our independence. We seem to shout; “No” until we are afraid or hurt then we look for safety again. Just as he cries, “Mommy” we also cry out asking the Lord to help us.
Over and over the Lord has been very patient and merciful with me and I thank Him for being a shield around about me. "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him”. Proverbs 30:5 NIV
There comes a time when we expect our children to grow up; our Heavenly Father desires that for us too. He is our protector and our shield but He is also our Heavenly Father. “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10,11 NIV
Some of our parents told us as they disciplined us, “ This hurts me more than it hurts you”. As a child we thought, “Yeah, right”. But then when we had children of our own we began to understand. Some of us have even said the same thing to our children. We see the danger and love them enough to intervene.
Our Heavenly Father is grieved when we exert our freewill and make choices in our lives that pull us away from His protection and the purpose for which He created us. In His great love He will allow us to wander but eventually in His loving kindness He will intervene in our lives. If we listen, we could possibly hear our Heavenly Father saying, “This hurts Me more than it hurts you”.
When the loving Hand of God reaches down to touch us, we can resist or we can realize that His wisdom is far greater than our own. He knows that our enemy has come to destroy our lives but He loves us enough to step in and interrupt our lives. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. John 10:10 NASB
We do live in an imperfect world but our Heavenly Father has not left us alone to face our enemy or walk blindly through this life without His help. He has left His Word the Bible “Thy Word is Lamp unto my feet and Light unto my path” Psalm 119: 105 KJV. As we spend time reading His Word He will teach us and guide us.
If we want to be able to cry out “Abba Father” in times of trouble we must be willing to follow His plan and His Word with all our heart. We can’t change our own heart but He can change our hearts. Many people say, “Follow your own heart” but that is not what God’s Word tells us. He tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5,6 NLT.
When the Lord in His loving kindness begins to discipline us we can resist or we can recognize that it is the strong arm of the Lord intervening in our lives for our own good.
Ginger O'Neill
The Lord could have created each of us without freewill but in His wisdom He chose to give us the freedom to choose how we will live our lives.
Just as I challenged my parents, our daughter Christina challenged her dad and me also. I remember she once told me, “Mom, I know you love me and don’t want me to get hurt but I have to learn my own way”. That broke my heart because I knew she did not fully understand the pain she would face in making wrong decisions.
As parents we want to shield and protect our children from harm yet at the same time we want them to grow up and learn to live fruitful and independent lives.
Today, as a young mother, Christina has a little boy of her own who is living up to the reputation of a true two year old. He has begun to realize that he is an independent soul and has the ability to make his own decisions. He teeters between the two most common words of a two year old, “Mommy” and “No”. In one moment he is aware of his need for his “Mommy” and in the next he is trying out his independent nature with his newfound love of the word, “No”.
We would all like to think that we have reached a place of maturity where we only make wise decisions. But just like my two-year-old grandson, we try our independence. We seem to shout; “No” until we are afraid or hurt then we look for safety again. Just as he cries, “Mommy” we also cry out asking the Lord to help us.
Over and over the Lord has been very patient and merciful with me and I thank Him for being a shield around about me. "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him”. Proverbs 30:5 NIV
There comes a time when we expect our children to grow up; our Heavenly Father desires that for us too. He is our protector and our shield but He is also our Heavenly Father. “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10,11 NIV
Some of our parents told us as they disciplined us, “ This hurts me more than it hurts you”. As a child we thought, “Yeah, right”. But then when we had children of our own we began to understand. Some of us have even said the same thing to our children. We see the danger and love them enough to intervene.
Our Heavenly Father is grieved when we exert our freewill and make choices in our lives that pull us away from His protection and the purpose for which He created us. In His great love He will allow us to wander but eventually in His loving kindness He will intervene in our lives. If we listen, we could possibly hear our Heavenly Father saying, “This hurts Me more than it hurts you”.
When the loving Hand of God reaches down to touch us, we can resist or we can realize that His wisdom is far greater than our own. He knows that our enemy has come to destroy our lives but He loves us enough to step in and interrupt our lives. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. John 10:10 NASB
We do live in an imperfect world but our Heavenly Father has not left us alone to face our enemy or walk blindly through this life without His help. He has left His Word the Bible “Thy Word is Lamp unto my feet and Light unto my path” Psalm 119: 105 KJV. As we spend time reading His Word He will teach us and guide us.
If we want to be able to cry out “Abba Father” in times of trouble we must be willing to follow His plan and His Word with all our heart. We can’t change our own heart but He can change our hearts. Many people say, “Follow your own heart” but that is not what God’s Word tells us. He tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5,6 NLT.
When the Lord in His loving kindness begins to discipline us we can resist or we can recognize that it is the strong arm of the Lord intervening in our lives for our own good.
Ginger O'Neill
Monday, April 26, 2010
A Shield and Protection
One thing I could count on growing up in my home, as a child was a sense of security. Even as a very small child I knew that my dad was my protector.
I recall walking down the street with him and being very aware and confident that Daddy was watching out for my safety. He was observant of every person we passed and exuded the message with his body to passers-by, “ don’t mess with her, she’s mine”. He was vigilant in observing everything surrounding us. His keen sense of sight, hearing and smell were always on high alert, it seemed that nothing missed his notice.
Never once in my life did I have to worry when I went to sleep if the doors were locked or our home was secure. Daddy was my protector and I knew that he would make sure we slept securely and safely.
He ran interference blocking every intrusion that could possibly bring harm to not only me but also to my mom and two sisters. One memory that stands out to me was sitting at the dining room table enjoying Sunday lunch after church. As we sat there eating, talking, and enjoying our time together the conversation shifted to a young man in town who had already graduated from high school. With three teenager daughters now in his house Daddy was ever mindful of young men who had wrong intentions. This young man was definitely the type. So as we talked over our family lunch, Daddy told us in no uncertain terms, “ Yes, and he will never come to our house”. We knew Daddy well enough to know he had already taken action before it became a problem. With the fear of what Daddy had done we all quickly asked, “ Why? What have you done?” His answer was short, simple and to the point, “I told him that he better not ever show up at our door”. We were so embarrassed as young girls get at that age. We all cried out, “ But Daddy, he’s never even called here” and Daddy replied, “Yes, and he won’t either”. Years later as I recall that memory I feel so loved by my Dad and find so much comfort in knowing that he loved me enough to protect me.
Was he able to block all harm that came my way? No, he gave me a safe home to grow up in and was vigilant as a father to watch out for my safety and protect me as best he could. To which I will always be grateful.
I was fortunate to have a dad who watched out for my safety. Many children do not grow up with a sense of security and safety. However, none of us grows up free from all harm and pain. God’s Word makes it very clear. “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour”. I Peter 5:8 NLT. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. John 10:10 NASB
My dad had learned through his own life experiences that we live in imperfect world. He wanted to shield me from all pain. As parents we all want to shield our children from pain.
This is such a perfect picture of our loving Heavenly Father. There have been times when I stepped out from the covering of the Lord’s protection in disobedience or through foolish decisions. But in the Lord’s loving kindness, patience and mercy He has covered, protected and been a shield around about me. "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him”. Proverbs 30:5 NIV I can almost hear my Heavenly Father saying, "Don't mess with her, she is mine".
I recall walking down the street with him and being very aware and confident that Daddy was watching out for my safety. He was observant of every person we passed and exuded the message with his body to passers-by, “ don’t mess with her, she’s mine”. He was vigilant in observing everything surrounding us. His keen sense of sight, hearing and smell were always on high alert, it seemed that nothing missed his notice.
Never once in my life did I have to worry when I went to sleep if the doors were locked or our home was secure. Daddy was my protector and I knew that he would make sure we slept securely and safely.
He ran interference blocking every intrusion that could possibly bring harm to not only me but also to my mom and two sisters. One memory that stands out to me was sitting at the dining room table enjoying Sunday lunch after church. As we sat there eating, talking, and enjoying our time together the conversation shifted to a young man in town who had already graduated from high school. With three teenager daughters now in his house Daddy was ever mindful of young men who had wrong intentions. This young man was definitely the type. So as we talked over our family lunch, Daddy told us in no uncertain terms, “ Yes, and he will never come to our house”. We knew Daddy well enough to know he had already taken action before it became a problem. With the fear of what Daddy had done we all quickly asked, “ Why? What have you done?” His answer was short, simple and to the point, “I told him that he better not ever show up at our door”. We were so embarrassed as young girls get at that age. We all cried out, “ But Daddy, he’s never even called here” and Daddy replied, “Yes, and he won’t either”. Years later as I recall that memory I feel so loved by my Dad and find so much comfort in knowing that he loved me enough to protect me.
Was he able to block all harm that came my way? No, he gave me a safe home to grow up in and was vigilant as a father to watch out for my safety and protect me as best he could. To which I will always be grateful.
I was fortunate to have a dad who watched out for my safety. Many children do not grow up with a sense of security and safety. However, none of us grows up free from all harm and pain. God’s Word makes it very clear. “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour”. I Peter 5:8 NLT. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. John 10:10 NASB
My dad had learned through his own life experiences that we live in imperfect world. He wanted to shield me from all pain. As parents we all want to shield our children from pain.
This is such a perfect picture of our loving Heavenly Father. There have been times when I stepped out from the covering of the Lord’s protection in disobedience or through foolish decisions. But in the Lord’s loving kindness, patience and mercy He has covered, protected and been a shield around about me. "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him”. Proverbs 30:5 NIV I can almost hear my Heavenly Father saying, "Don't mess with her, she is mine".
Monday, April 12, 2010
Stop Complaining and Start Living
Recently I was trying to encourage my friend and found myself writing what should have been taken as rude although it was sent with love. I told her in my cold email, “Stop complaining and start living”.
I had listened as she poured her heart out to me about her new life. I couldn’t believe that she thought she had problems. She and her husband had recently moved when he started a new job. The move had been a financial blessing to them and her once struggling marriage was greatly improved. She had time and freedom to pursue some of her own dreams and goals in ministry. As she shared about being bored with too much time on her hands, I couldn’t believe she was miserable with her new freedom. I thought, “Girl, what are you complaining about? Can’t you see this is a blessing? You now have time to pursue your dreams?” Before I knew it, I was opening my mouth to give unsolicited advice. Then just to make the point I followed up in an email, “Stop complaining and start living.”
Although I was wrong, my heart truly was in the right place toward her. I had listened for years as she had expressed her desire for more time and freedom to pursue her dreams and now she had it. I was just wrong to give her my unsolicited thoughts so bluntly.
A couple of weeks later she called me, which is amazing and told me that my words had really spoken to her. To be honest, I didn’t recall what I had said to her until she reminded me. I listened as she repeated them back to me and realized these were the same words that the Lord had been speaking to my heart.
Perhaps it was His will for me to share with my friend too. Perhaps it was not, but when she repeated those same words back to me, I was suddenly very aware that I had been ignoring the still quiet voice of God as He had whispered to me, “Stop complaining and start living”.
When you are an imperfect perfectionist like me, it is so easy to make excuses. But in His love and patience, God is showing me how to “stop complaining and start living”
1. Give praise to the Lord with a grateful heart. Tell Him how much you appreciate Him and the good things in your life. Be very specific like the old hymn, “Count your many blessings; name them one by one”.
2. Give praise to others in your life. Tell them how much you appreciate and value them. At first specific praise can seem phony when you are out of practice but with lots of practice you will begin to get more comfortable.
3. Guard your thoughts. Every word spoken and every action we choose first started in our mind. Avoid negative conversation and choose to spend time with people who build others up rather than tear others down. This may mean walking away when friends, family or coworkers are complaining or gossiping. It may also mean turning off the television.
4. Learn to forgive. Jesus paid the price for each of our sin. If the Lord can forgive you and me then we should chose to forgive our selves and others when we fail. Holding on to un-forgiveness will only hinder us in living our life pleasing to the Lord and also ourselves.
5. Feed your soul. Spend time daily in prayer alone with the Lord and reading the Bible. Begin to read books that inspire and motivate you to live with passion and purpose. Listen to the testimonies of God’s faithfulness in the lives of others. Listen to stories that encourage and motivate.
6. Take time each day to do something that brings you personal fulfillment. If you are limited in your time, start small and make gains in a big way one step at a time through consistently running the race in the direction to reach your goals.
7. Take time to play and enjoy life. Let the fun begin. Learn to laugh again if you have lost laughter. Spend time listening to children laugh on a playground. Let the silly out and don’t always be so serious.
8. Take care of your physical body. As we exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water and get rest we will have the energy to live the life we are called to live. Remember, our body is the temple of God. Stop criticizing the handiwork of the Lord. The Master Designer thinks you are awesome.
It is in the balance of life that we can reach our dreams and still have time to smell the roses along the way.
I had listened as she poured her heart out to me about her new life. I couldn’t believe that she thought she had problems. She and her husband had recently moved when he started a new job. The move had been a financial blessing to them and her once struggling marriage was greatly improved. She had time and freedom to pursue some of her own dreams and goals in ministry. As she shared about being bored with too much time on her hands, I couldn’t believe she was miserable with her new freedom. I thought, “Girl, what are you complaining about? Can’t you see this is a blessing? You now have time to pursue your dreams?” Before I knew it, I was opening my mouth to give unsolicited advice. Then just to make the point I followed up in an email, “Stop complaining and start living.”
Although I was wrong, my heart truly was in the right place toward her. I had listened for years as she had expressed her desire for more time and freedom to pursue her dreams and now she had it. I was just wrong to give her my unsolicited thoughts so bluntly.
A couple of weeks later she called me, which is amazing and told me that my words had really spoken to her. To be honest, I didn’t recall what I had said to her until she reminded me. I listened as she repeated them back to me and realized these were the same words that the Lord had been speaking to my heart.
Perhaps it was His will for me to share with my friend too. Perhaps it was not, but when she repeated those same words back to me, I was suddenly very aware that I had been ignoring the still quiet voice of God as He had whispered to me, “Stop complaining and start living”.
When you are an imperfect perfectionist like me, it is so easy to make excuses. But in His love and patience, God is showing me how to “stop complaining and start living”
1. Give praise to the Lord with a grateful heart. Tell Him how much you appreciate Him and the good things in your life. Be very specific like the old hymn, “Count your many blessings; name them one by one”.
2. Give praise to others in your life. Tell them how much you appreciate and value them. At first specific praise can seem phony when you are out of practice but with lots of practice you will begin to get more comfortable.
3. Guard your thoughts. Every word spoken and every action we choose first started in our mind. Avoid negative conversation and choose to spend time with people who build others up rather than tear others down. This may mean walking away when friends, family or coworkers are complaining or gossiping. It may also mean turning off the television.
4. Learn to forgive. Jesus paid the price for each of our sin. If the Lord can forgive you and me then we should chose to forgive our selves and others when we fail. Holding on to un-forgiveness will only hinder us in living our life pleasing to the Lord and also ourselves.
5. Feed your soul. Spend time daily in prayer alone with the Lord and reading the Bible. Begin to read books that inspire and motivate you to live with passion and purpose. Listen to the testimonies of God’s faithfulness in the lives of others. Listen to stories that encourage and motivate.
6. Take time each day to do something that brings you personal fulfillment. If you are limited in your time, start small and make gains in a big way one step at a time through consistently running the race in the direction to reach your goals.
7. Take time to play and enjoy life. Let the fun begin. Learn to laugh again if you have lost laughter. Spend time listening to children laugh on a playground. Let the silly out and don’t always be so serious.
8. Take care of your physical body. As we exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water and get rest we will have the energy to live the life we are called to live. Remember, our body is the temple of God. Stop criticizing the handiwork of the Lord. The Master Designer thinks you are awesome.
It is in the balance of life that we can reach our dreams and still have time to smell the roses along the way.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Wisdom of the Ages
Recently I was blessed to spend an afternoon with my mom, two aunts and one of my uncles. This opportunity reminded me how incredible it is to spend time with them and hopefully learn from their wisdom. I realized how much love and respect they deserve and how fortunate I am to have them in my life.
I’ve heard that if you were a mean young person you will just grow up to be a mean old person. But if you were a sweet and kind young person then you will grow up to be a sweet and kind old person. I am so thankful and blessed that my family is the later.
It seems that society is deteriorating and so many people are impatient, unkind and inconsiderate of others. Yet, when I spend time with my elderly family, I am challenged to be more like them.
One thing I’ve observed is they have their priorities in order. They live their lives committed to God first, family second, and other relationships third. Other things such as career, ambitions, entertainment and the pursuit of wealth are secondary to their personal relationships with God and others.
As they have lived out their lives in love and obedience to the Lord they have walked a life worthy of praise and admiration. The purity in their lives is evident. They speak with respect, kindness and love. Their words edify, affirm, and build others up. Their words remind me of the Bible verse “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” Proverbs 25:11.
They how shown me how important it is to keep my priorities in order. They value their family relationships and encourage the young people to love one another and stay connected. They take interest and encourage each of their siblings, children, and extended family members. What joy it brings me to know that they each value me and are truly interested in my life.
They pour their love into the lives of others. When people are hurting they are there to help, encourage, serve and even grieve with them. They are also there to rejoice and celebrate with their family and friends during times of great joy. Often their love has been poured out on others and me around the table. My southern family could put Paula Dean or for that matter any cook out of business if they so desired.
In today’s fast faced paced world, my generation and the generations following are much more self -centered than what I observe in my elders. As I listen to them and watch their lives I can see that my elders have faced many of the same life challenges and struggles that are so common to each of us. Yet, I observe that they are much more forgiving, generous, and patient with others.
I first find myself thinking it is wisdom that comes with age. But does a person’s character change with age? I think not. I don’t think that a person will just wake up one day and be a much more loving, forgiving and caring individual. It’s not the maturing brought about by age, but rather it is the maturing brought on by the power of God in their lives.
Perhaps that is the difference. My elders have experienced many challenges, heartaches, and joys and through each of these life experiences they have determined to follow after the Lord no matter the cost.
So often the younger generation dismisses the challenges that the elderly have faced because they make it look so easy. But to the contrary, it is never easy to loose a love one whether it is a sibling, parent, spouse or child. It is never easy to struggle financially. It is never easy when someone you believed in betrays a trust.
I find myself asking, “Will I forgive others as readily as my mother? Will I give to others and go without like my aunt has? Will I trust the Lord when life seems unfair?” To answer my question is to follow the example my elders have modeled for me. The answer to such wisdom is not with age but in a decision to follow the Lord no matter the cost.
The reward will be a life of peace and a life spent pleasing to the Lord. To be a woman such as the woman in Proverbs 31: 28, “ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”. I aspire to be that woman. I do see that woman in my own mother and it is my desire to be that woman too.
I desire to be a woman after the Lord’s heart. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30.
In the end I want to hear the Lord God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.
Ginger
I’ve heard that if you were a mean young person you will just grow up to be a mean old person. But if you were a sweet and kind young person then you will grow up to be a sweet and kind old person. I am so thankful and blessed that my family is the later.
It seems that society is deteriorating and so many people are impatient, unkind and inconsiderate of others. Yet, when I spend time with my elderly family, I am challenged to be more like them.
One thing I’ve observed is they have their priorities in order. They live their lives committed to God first, family second, and other relationships third. Other things such as career, ambitions, entertainment and the pursuit of wealth are secondary to their personal relationships with God and others.
As they have lived out their lives in love and obedience to the Lord they have walked a life worthy of praise and admiration. The purity in their lives is evident. They speak with respect, kindness and love. Their words edify, affirm, and build others up. Their words remind me of the Bible verse “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” Proverbs 25:11.
They how shown me how important it is to keep my priorities in order. They value their family relationships and encourage the young people to love one another and stay connected. They take interest and encourage each of their siblings, children, and extended family members. What joy it brings me to know that they each value me and are truly interested in my life.
They pour their love into the lives of others. When people are hurting they are there to help, encourage, serve and even grieve with them. They are also there to rejoice and celebrate with their family and friends during times of great joy. Often their love has been poured out on others and me around the table. My southern family could put Paula Dean or for that matter any cook out of business if they so desired.
In today’s fast faced paced world, my generation and the generations following are much more self -centered than what I observe in my elders. As I listen to them and watch their lives I can see that my elders have faced many of the same life challenges and struggles that are so common to each of us. Yet, I observe that they are much more forgiving, generous, and patient with others.
I first find myself thinking it is wisdom that comes with age. But does a person’s character change with age? I think not. I don’t think that a person will just wake up one day and be a much more loving, forgiving and caring individual. It’s not the maturing brought about by age, but rather it is the maturing brought on by the power of God in their lives.
Perhaps that is the difference. My elders have experienced many challenges, heartaches, and joys and through each of these life experiences they have determined to follow after the Lord no matter the cost.
So often the younger generation dismisses the challenges that the elderly have faced because they make it look so easy. But to the contrary, it is never easy to loose a love one whether it is a sibling, parent, spouse or child. It is never easy to struggle financially. It is never easy when someone you believed in betrays a trust.
I find myself asking, “Will I forgive others as readily as my mother? Will I give to others and go without like my aunt has? Will I trust the Lord when life seems unfair?” To answer my question is to follow the example my elders have modeled for me. The answer to such wisdom is not with age but in a decision to follow the Lord no matter the cost.
The reward will be a life of peace and a life spent pleasing to the Lord. To be a woman such as the woman in Proverbs 31: 28, “ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”. I aspire to be that woman. I do see that woman in my own mother and it is my desire to be that woman too.
I desire to be a woman after the Lord’s heart. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30.
In the end I want to hear the Lord God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.
Ginger
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Finding the Treasures in Suffering
One of the hardest things for me is to watch someone I love suffer. Years ago, my beautiful sister Crystal fought a terrible battle with cancer. It was such a painful time in our family as we watched her suffer and could not prevent the pain.
Not only did I pray for Crystal but I also prayed for my family. I pleaded with the Lord to have mercy on her and on our family. I asked him to take this cup of suffering from Crystal and heal her. He chose to heal her on the other side of eternity.
In the days that followed, I saw the pain in my parent’s eyes as their youngest child slipped from our lives. I watched Crystal’s young son as he tried to make sense of life without the most important person in his life. Feeling lost and alone he closed himself off and all I could do was love and pray for him. My sister Diane suffered deeply as she faced the death of yet another love one. Diane and Crystal had already lost so much early in life when their birth mother had been tragically killed. I knew Diane felt alone, hurt and angry. Hurting myself, I begged the Lord to give me strength to minister to my family.
We had no idea that we would face the same giant four years later when cancer attacked Daddy. Once again, I prayed for mercy and asked the Lord to intervene and heal him. He chose to heal him on the other side of eternity.
This time I watched my precious mother as she faced the pain of life without Daddy for the first time in over fifty years.
Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. We don’t always understand why the Lord allows pain to come into our lives and into the lives of our love ones. What I have learned is that the Lord never allows us to go through our pain alone. Not only is He with us during our greatest needs but He also sends help through others.
When Daddy was sick, the Lord brought Nancy, a new friend and prayer partner into my life. Our mutual friend, Sue recognized that Nancy and I shared the same faith in Jesus. She knew that both of our dads had cancer so she thought we could help each other. She had no idea how the Lord was using her.
Nancy and I began a deep friendship as we called each other. We prayed, cried, read scripture to one another and poured our hearts out to the Lord together through the telephone When Nancy’s strength was gone, the Lord used me to strengthen her. When my strength was gone, Nancy was there for me.
Just before Thanksgiving Nancy called to tell me that her dad had passed on and was now with the Lord. We rejoiced that he was with the Lord and thanked the Lord that his suffering had ended. Yet, I knew that Nancy and her Mom were still in pain. As I planned to attend the wake I realized that I didn’t even know what Nancy looked like. She said, “Ginger, you’ll know me when you see me. I’m tall, thin and blond.” As I walked into the wake, I spotted a petite brunette and instantly knew she was Nancy. I walked up to her and said, “Nancy”. We embraced, laughed and cried. It was only two months later that Nancy was there for me when my dad stepped in the loving arms of Jesus.
Although, still to this day Sue has never accepted the Lord, she was instrumental in bringing Nancy and I together during a time when we needed a friend and prayer partner who would understand our pain. Not only did the Lord comfort us with his Holy Spirit, He understood we needed a friend to walk along beside us during a time of great suffering.
The Lord has not promised us a life without pain and suffering. However He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
As we go through each day, the trivial challenges can seem larger than they really are until our life is interrupted with a pain of deep suffering. It’s during these times we readjust our priorities and realize what is truly important. It is during these times we allow the Holy Spirit to shine His light on our journey of pain. Then we can discover within the silver lining of pain and suffering nuggets of Truth and treasures we would never have known had we not traveled this path.
Ginger O'Neill
Not only did I pray for Crystal but I also prayed for my family. I pleaded with the Lord to have mercy on her and on our family. I asked him to take this cup of suffering from Crystal and heal her. He chose to heal her on the other side of eternity.
In the days that followed, I saw the pain in my parent’s eyes as their youngest child slipped from our lives. I watched Crystal’s young son as he tried to make sense of life without the most important person in his life. Feeling lost and alone he closed himself off and all I could do was love and pray for him. My sister Diane suffered deeply as she faced the death of yet another love one. Diane and Crystal had already lost so much early in life when their birth mother had been tragically killed. I knew Diane felt alone, hurt and angry. Hurting myself, I begged the Lord to give me strength to minister to my family.
We had no idea that we would face the same giant four years later when cancer attacked Daddy. Once again, I prayed for mercy and asked the Lord to intervene and heal him. He chose to heal him on the other side of eternity.
This time I watched my precious mother as she faced the pain of life without Daddy for the first time in over fifty years.
Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. We don’t always understand why the Lord allows pain to come into our lives and into the lives of our love ones. What I have learned is that the Lord never allows us to go through our pain alone. Not only is He with us during our greatest needs but He also sends help through others.
When Daddy was sick, the Lord brought Nancy, a new friend and prayer partner into my life. Our mutual friend, Sue recognized that Nancy and I shared the same faith in Jesus. She knew that both of our dads had cancer so she thought we could help each other. She had no idea how the Lord was using her.
Nancy and I began a deep friendship as we called each other. We prayed, cried, read scripture to one another and poured our hearts out to the Lord together through the telephone When Nancy’s strength was gone, the Lord used me to strengthen her. When my strength was gone, Nancy was there for me.
Just before Thanksgiving Nancy called to tell me that her dad had passed on and was now with the Lord. We rejoiced that he was with the Lord and thanked the Lord that his suffering had ended. Yet, I knew that Nancy and her Mom were still in pain. As I planned to attend the wake I realized that I didn’t even know what Nancy looked like. She said, “Ginger, you’ll know me when you see me. I’m tall, thin and blond.” As I walked into the wake, I spotted a petite brunette and instantly knew she was Nancy. I walked up to her and said, “Nancy”. We embraced, laughed and cried. It was only two months later that Nancy was there for me when my dad stepped in the loving arms of Jesus.
Although, still to this day Sue has never accepted the Lord, she was instrumental in bringing Nancy and I together during a time when we needed a friend and prayer partner who would understand our pain. Not only did the Lord comfort us with his Holy Spirit, He understood we needed a friend to walk along beside us during a time of great suffering.
The Lord has not promised us a life without pain and suffering. However He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
As we go through each day, the trivial challenges can seem larger than they really are until our life is interrupted with a pain of deep suffering. It’s during these times we readjust our priorities and realize what is truly important. It is during these times we allow the Holy Spirit to shine His light on our journey of pain. Then we can discover within the silver lining of pain and suffering nuggets of Truth and treasures we would never have known had we not traveled this path.
Ginger O'Neill
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sinners in the Hands of a Loving God
No one likes to be criticized, judged or rejected. The Lord has put within each of us a need for acceptance. Everyone wants to be loved and valued.
This is not hard to understand when you are the one who feels judged, criticized or ostracized. The injustice rises up in us and we often react in our human frailty. Our personalities can influence how we react.
There are three ways to handle criticism, judgment and rejection from others.
Some people are ready for a fight when they are criticized, judged, or feel left out. They go into attack mode. The anger rises up with explosive words that can never be taken back. Sometimes their anger can be so extreme they vent their rage with physical violence against property or even another person.
A second way people react when hurt by others is to flee and run away from the pain. Some people run to something that will make them feel good temporarily. Perhaps that is why we live in a world with so many addictions to food, drugs and alcohol. Other people try to soothe their pain with material possessions. Although we know that these are only temporary fixes, we often run to them. Sometimes we aren’t running to a quick fix but rather we are just running away from the pain. We seclude ourselves to nurse our wounds and suffer in our injustice. In other words, we run away and internalize our anger and hurt.
The advertising and marketing industries as well as the pharmaceutical companies have prospered greatly as a result of these choices of fight or flight.
What then can we do? How can we avoid situations that cause us to be angry? The truth is we can’t. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. The Lord tells us, “ Be angry and sin not”. Rather than fight or flight there is a third and better choice.
When we are hurt, rejected or disrespected we have the third choice: faith. Not faith in ourselves to have self-control over our anger or faith in the replacements that give us a temporary relief to soothe our pain. But faith in God who promises to be our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
He will always be there for us when we are hurt, disappointed or angry. He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
Rather than running away and hiding in our anger or running to a replacement, have faith in the Lord God, our refuge. When we are angry and about to explode in words or actions we can trust the Lord to be our strength. He will uphold us with His righteous right hand.
As we choose faith in the Lord, He will give us the ability to forgive others just as He has forgiven us. He will also give us the wisdom we need in each situation. He has promised to turn our mourning into dancing and weeping into laughing. He has promised to show us the path of life: In His presence is fullness of joy.
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