No one likes to be criticized, judged or rejected. The Lord has put within each of us a need for acceptance. Everyone wants to be loved and valued.
This is not hard to understand when you are the one who feels judged, criticized or ostracized. The injustice rises up in us and we often react in our human frailty. Our personalities can influence how we react.
There are three ways to handle criticism, judgment and rejection from others.
Some people are ready for a fight when they are criticized, judged, or feel left out. They go into attack mode. The anger rises up with explosive words that can never be taken back. Sometimes their anger can be so extreme they vent their rage with physical violence against property or even another person.
A second way people react when hurt by others is to flee and run away from the pain. Some people run to something that will make them feel good temporarily. Perhaps that is why we live in a world with so many addictions to food, drugs and alcohol. Other people try to soothe their pain with material possessions. Although we know that these are only temporary fixes, we often run to them. Sometimes we aren’t running to a quick fix but rather we are just running away from the pain. We seclude ourselves to nurse our wounds and suffer in our injustice. In other words, we run away and internalize our anger and hurt.
The advertising and marketing industries as well as the pharmaceutical companies have prospered greatly as a result of these choices of fight or flight.
What then can we do? How can we avoid situations that cause us to be angry? The truth is we can’t. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. The Lord tells us, “ Be angry and sin not”. Rather than fight or flight there is a third and better choice.
When we are hurt, rejected or disrespected we have the third choice: faith. Not faith in ourselves to have self-control over our anger or faith in the replacements that give us a temporary relief to soothe our pain. But faith in God who promises to be our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
He will always be there for us when we are hurt, disappointed or angry. He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
Rather than running away and hiding in our anger or running to a replacement, have faith in the Lord God, our refuge. When we are angry and about to explode in words or actions we can trust the Lord to be our strength. He will uphold us with His righteous right hand.
As we choose faith in the Lord, He will give us the ability to forgive others just as He has forgiven us. He will also give us the wisdom we need in each situation. He has promised to turn our mourning into dancing and weeping into laughing. He has promised to show us the path of life: In His presence is fullness of joy.
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