This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

Although I grew up in a very loving and protective home, as I got older I realized that I had my own thoughts and ideas.  I wanted to be independent and step out from the protection of my mom and dad. I wanted to be independent from God too and make my own choices. Yet I wanted the assurance that my parents and God were waiting if I needed them.

The Lord could have created each of us without freewill but in His wisdom He chose to give us the freedom to choose how we will live our lives.

Just as I challenged my parents, our daughter Christina challenged her dad and me also. I remember she once told me, “Mom, I know you love me and don’t want me to get hurt but I have to learn my own way”. That broke my heart because I knew she did not fully understand the pain she would face in making wrong decisions.

As parents we want to shield and protect our children from harm yet at the same time we want them to grow up and learn to live fruitful and independent lives.

Today, as a young mother, Christina has a little boy of her own who is living up to the reputation of a true two year old. He has begun to realize that he is an independent soul and has the ability to make his own decisions. He teeters between the two most common words of a two year old, “Mommy” and “No”. In one moment he is aware of his need for his “Mommy” and in the next he is trying out his independent nature with his newfound love of the word, “No”.

We would all like to think that we have reached a place of maturity where we only make wise decisions. But just like my two-year-old grandson, we try our independence.  We seem to shout; “No” until we are afraid or hurt then we look for safety again.  Just as he cries, “Mommy” we also cry out asking the Lord to help us.

Over and over the Lord has been very patient and merciful with me and I thank Him for being a shield around about me. "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him”. Proverbs 30:5 NIV

There comes a time when we expect our children to grow up; our Heavenly Father desires that for us too. He is our protector and our shield but He is also our Heavenly Father. “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10,11 NIV

Some of our parents told us as they disciplined us, “ This hurts me more than it hurts you”. As a child we thought, “Yeah, right”. But then when we had children of our own we began to understand. Some of us have even said the same thing to our children. We see the danger and love them enough to intervene.

Our Heavenly Father is grieved when we exert our freewill and make choices in our lives that pull us away from His protection and the purpose for which He created us. In His great love He will allow us to wander but eventually in His loving kindness He will intervene in our lives. If we listen, we could possibly hear our Heavenly Father saying, “This hurts Me more than it hurts you”.

When the loving Hand of God reaches down to touch us, we can resist or we can realize that His wisdom is far greater than our own. He knows that our enemy has come to destroy our lives but He loves us enough to step in and interrupt our lives.  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. John 10:10 NASB

We do live in an imperfect world but our Heavenly Father has not left us alone to face our enemy or walk blindly through this life without His help. He has left His Word the Bible  “Thy Word is Lamp unto my feet and Light unto my path” Psalm 119: 105 KJV. As we spend time reading His Word He will teach us and guide us.

If we want to be able to cry out “Abba Father” in times of trouble we must be willing to follow His plan and His Word with all our heart. We can’t change our own heart but He can change our hearts. Many people say, “Follow your own heart” but that is not what God’s Word tells us. He tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5,6 NLT.

When the Lord in His loving kindness begins to discipline us we can resist or we can recognize that it is the strong arm of the Lord intervening in our lives for our own good.

Ginger O'Neill